"Hold it all together - everyone needs you strong... " those words might as well be the unspoken motto of my life. I have always, even as child, felt the pull to be the person who holds things and people together. The person who is strong for others. The person who is control. By our worlds standards this may seem like a good thing, but being completely self sufficient is contrary to God's command to rely on him. When I try to take control of everything I am only forcing myself to bear a burden that God never intended me to carry.
It is hard for me rest. It is hard for me to surrender. It is hard for me to let go and let God work. I struggle to let God hold me -even though I have seen his power, his provision, and felt his mighty grace more times than I can count. I know his plans are better than mine but it is still difficult to grasp that when everything seems to be falling apart. Yet, when I find myself in a place of complete brokenness I am able to admit that it is only through Christ who strengthens me that I can do all things. It is not.... through April I can do all things but Christ and Christ Alone. And he does a much better job than I can even imagine.
I write this today and share this song, to encourage anyone who feels weighed down by the burden of being strong, of holding it all together, or just trying to make it look like you have it all under control. I encourage you to surrender to God. He is on the throne and he is in control. He has a perfect plan for your life and you are not alone. Let him wrap you in the peace of God, a peace that transcends all understanding. Only in complete surrender will you will find that peace and freedom.
*Note* I love the way God works. I love the way he speaks. I hate that I get so wrapped up in myself that I miss what he is showing me. I heard this song on the radio last night and it just brought me to tears. I felt so broken and alone. I knew had gotten caught up in the cycle of trying to be in control of everything. I started praying that God would just speak to me. I did some bible study, listened to this song several times, and then I started writing this post. Then the cat unplugged the internet and I lost my original draft. I was not sure I was going to rewrite it. Then at church today... the sermon was about surrendering to find freedom. It was as if the lost words I had written yesterday were being repeated back to me.